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NO! [09 Nov 2005|08:10pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

i don't know why i bother sometimes. whose life am i leading? what life am i leading??
none of my friends want to keep in contact with me...NONE.
i feel very alone.
i couldn't make it to my best friends final college musical because i had the flu...
haven't heard from her so i don't know if she's mad...don't know why she'd be mad...i wanted to go but i was too weak to drive a car.
i'm not included in the good times.
this feels like fucking highschool.
i live on my own.
i have a cat.
nothing should feel like highschool ever again.
it hurts.

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WHYGODWHY!!?? [15 Jul 2005|12:12am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

why God...why did you flood my home and destroy my room...my haven...

at least nothing really major got damaged...our basement had water up to your shins.  i did not witness this disaster...i was at work...the lights went out and i sat in the dark all alone for about and hour and a half surrounded by stuffed animals...i know they were laughing at me...when the power came back on in the mall the song "have you ever seen the rain?" was on so i knew the Gods were mocking me.  it was there that i found out my room was flooded...i couldn't believe it...a lot of my books are ruined...my portable cd player...some of my cd's some clothes...my sister ran down there to throw as much stuff on my bed as she could...probably the nicest thing she's ever done...risking electrocution and all...most of my books are ruined...Mabes, i think some of yours might be...i haven't checked...and don't worry about the baby quilt your mom made...it's hanging in my closet...grrrr....i just realized i had some of my winter clothes folded on the bottom of the closet...IS THERE NO END TO THE INJUSTICE!!! i have many long days ahead of me...

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Dang it is hot! [25 Jun 2005|01:56pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

i had to get out of the sun!  i already have uneven burns forming...forgot the block...bad idea i know...

i've speant most of the day floating in my pool...and it's been wonderful!  i really don't want to work tonight but money is always an irrisitable lure.  i simply can't get back in the pool...i'll prune!

i think i'll stop boring the lot of you...

have fun and stay cool!

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Bah! [24 Jun 2005|05:57pm]
[ mood | content ]


but that's what i get for going at it without a single solitary knowledge of what the hell i'm looking at...html man...it's a rabid bear...

the layout is a tribute to Nicholas Lea...his b-day was on wed. so this is how i celebrate.

speaking of rabid bears...my best friend Mabes is out in the woods somewhere...Mabes...if you get this...you can take anything on!  if a bear gets all up ons...you spread it out flat!  and if you get lost...hug a tree and sing "i like big butts"...at least i'll find you...

since my absence i've participated in a few challenges...won some awards...which i haven't uploaded yet...but will soon...

so i applied for assistant manager at the theatre of horrors again...didn't get it...who got it?...a thin bitch that just graduated from highschool...HIGHSCHOOL..she's been there 3 months to my 4 years...i don't know what to do...torch the place...sue...kill everyone...the possibilites are endless but i'd rather not go to jail...or death row...so i'm getting out.  i applied to this place fittingly called "Stuff It".  it would be a nice change of pace...of course i wouldn't be able to get free movies anymore...however if things happen with this new guy that looks like a young Angus Macfadyen that just started at the theatre...i wouldn't have to worry...

oh and he works at Quizno's too...how cool is that!?

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hello...remember me!?? [21 Apr 2005|07:21pm]
[ mood | drained ]

have i been a lazy goon or what!?

look how long it's been since i posted!  well not much is happening...did a blend ...won an award for it and all that jazz...it was fun!  i'm still waiting for something amazing to happen.  Parents are out of town...therefore i must take care of my grandparents....sooo many pills....so many walkers....so much poop....literal poop...no sleep...no sleep at all...

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Look what I can do! [30 Mar 2005|10:21pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

played around with html a bit and if you turn to you left you will see i managed to make pic links in my side bar! this is a huge thing for me...html is so freaking hard! I won an award for my scarlett blend challenge...i'm lucky i got something my first time on the site...however i can safely say my blend was better than the others that got higher prizes.  but such as politics...you can see my award by clicking the awards link! *tee hee*

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dum da dee doo doh daaaaaaaa [15 Mar 2005|08:26pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Interesting day....I submited a request for information on several art schools offering graphic design yesterday and today I got a call from the admissions office at the art institute of Pheonix, AZ!  I have to say...the prospect of going to a desert climate is very appealing at the moment.  But...it is rather far away...who knows...I have a phone interview with them on friday.

In the mean time...i would like to share a couple blends a made for various challenges.

aaaaahhhhhh....dang that is good....Collapse )

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[ mood | ecstatic ]


I won silver at Afternoon Blends challenge #67!!!


I can't stand still! I'm so excited! and it was the perfect end to a rotten day...i'll explain that later...a long with a new blend...


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********* [01 Mar 2005|04:15pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

So things really suck right now....being poor sucks...couldn't escape to see my best friend because I couldn't pay for gas...my father couldn't either...my sister and I have been ok but that won't last long.

I did some stuff...

stuffCollapse )

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New art [12 Feb 2005|12:45pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

Things have been ok...so far.  I've decided to participate in blend challenges for various sites.  Links provided to me by Mabes the awesome.  I've entered two so far.

CHALLENGE! click if you acceptCollapse )

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Creative therapy [01 Feb 2005|10:34pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

So I've been doing a lot of blending lately to take my mind of the monstrosity that is my life (I may or may not go into details about this at a later date).  Here are two products of my sessions.  Blends of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.

David and Gillian blends CLICK!Collapse )

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Photobucket [01 Feb 2005|01:43pm]
This is a test post from Photobucket.com
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all work and no play makes missy a dull girl all work and no play.... [28 Jan 2005|01:03pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

I've been stewing for weeks.


so much bad stuff....so much bad...

my life sucks...I'm not just saying that it really does.

I need help.

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Creativity [30 Dec 2004|08:30pm]
[ mood | creative ]

I got a digital camera for X-mas!  it's a fairly good one.  I took some pictures of myself, my sister and her friends. 

digital goodiesCollapse )

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Creative Changes [20 Dec 2004|09:13pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

I made a new Damian Lewis Blend using a new blend style taught to me by Mabes!  Have a look....


Click ClickyCollapse )

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New Layout!! [17 Dec 2004|11:25pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I likey my new layout! Triple thanks to Mabes for teaching me this stuff!!! She truely is the best friend I ever had...anyway...saw Blade III yesterday...movies like that always make me giggle and Ryan Reynolds is mad crazy hot in it!! He wasn't shirtless enough I have to say...

There are these two guys I work with whom I find very attractive. They both have different appeal...but one I like the most...even though he smokes...in a spand of a week they both have told me they think other girls are hot. For example last week guy "A" told ME that he thought one of the girls we work with was perfect for him because she was so petite...I told him sure if he like having sex with a stick...and just today guy "B" said to me while we were in the box office that this girl he just sold tickets to was "gorgeous"...I told him I could give two shits...I don't get it...it angers me deeply...deeply...

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Busy [01 Dec 2004|11:04am]
[ mood | stressed ]

Life is really going to suck for the next 2 weeks. I have so much crap to do for school! I have to finish a web site tonight for this presentation due tomarrow. Barely anyone in my groups is contributing to it. I was under the impression that me designing a site would be the basis for the presentation. Maybe not everyone is doing their work. I also have a 10 paged research paper due nexy thursday. Naturally I can't find any books on the subject. OCC's library is a joke...I'll have to go somewhere else...plus i don't have any money for christmas...yet...i'll be soooo glad when the semester's over!
I miss the fun of life.

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Down for the Count [11 Nov 2004|11:40pm]
[ mood | sore ]

I threw my back out! That's been real exciting! Sitting around having to change positions every five minuets to stop the throbbing...so much fun! It feels like someone shot me right above my left butt cheek. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact my pelvis is all screwed up and I got one leg shorter that the other...I have to go back to the chiropractor on monday and get a note to flash at all my professors...I can't have another absence in ethics or it will effect my grade. Ok....can't sit anymore...

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A loser no more.... [08 Nov 2004|09:51pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

From this day forth I vow to stop being such a heinous loser and update my journal more often!!

Now that the creed thing is out of the way...I have to say that I saw the weirdest movie today...It was called The Rapture and I started watching it because David Duchovny was in it...I love him...anyway it was hilarious because he had a mullet in the beginning and I just laughed and laughed....David's character Randy is confronted by Mimi Rodgers(hate her!) character Sharon and her creepy partner who was played by the blind guy from Carnivale which was weirder...see...Sharon leeds a pretty pathetic life of swinging(yes in the sexual sense) and working as an information operator...to make a long story short...Sharon tries to kill herself and fails...has a dream about a giant pearl and comes to find out that it was a message from God...she discovers that others have seen the pearl and they all are lead by a little black boy prophet who preahces of the coming Apocalypse...Sharon converts athiest Randy and they have a child and blah blah blah...Randy becomes an executive and get's shot by a disgruntled guy that he reasently fired...Sharon takes it suprisingly well...because...she knows that Randy is in heaven...it gets strange when she sees one of those photo printing machines in a store and Randy is in every photo in a desert beckoning to her...she tells the boy prophet and he tells her that God is calling her to the desert...so she takes her daughter out there and they camp out for...oh...a few weeks waiting for God...God doesn't show...so Sharon kills her daughter so she can go to heaven and she can't kill her self because she wouldn't blah blah blah...and so the Apocalypse actually comes and...because Sharon hates God for making her kill her daughter...she won't saw that she loves him...so she is left on earth to suffer for eternity...
It boggled my mind...but I enjoyed watching David walk around shirtless and in his prime...well...more prime anyway...

I say my best friend Mabes's musical the other day...the show was ok...but she kicked serious booty in it! It also made me realize how much I miss the stage! I must be in a show soon! I did infact go on an audition last month for a production of Amalh and The Night Visitors...way out in Auburn! I din't realize it was so far away!! They offered me a part in the chorus...but the trip and gas expense wouldn't have been worth it.

I have soooo much crap to do for school this week...stupid math...you shouldn't be forced to take math in college...my life would be better without it...God invented calculators for a reason! Besides...Math and I are mortal enemies...the clash of our hate would surely destroy the earth!!
We all don't want that right?
Wish me luck!
Nighty Night!

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It's about time.... [17 Sep 2004|06:55pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

for me to actually share my thoughts!  life is kind of sucking right now...i've been trying to spare you all from my crap but it's gotta fly.  i live with to many people...my parents and sister are hard enough to deal with sometimes...on top of that my granparents live in my house...one is deaf and blind and the other has althiemerzs disease.  i spend most of my nights taking care of them and making sure they get fed.  now my mother has let back into our house her mentally challenge nephew.  he has this disease called tublursclarosis and it effects his nervous system so he is sixteen with the mentality of an eight year old.  it would be all fine and dandy if he didn't have retarded parents to begin with who mistreated him and let him see things that he shouldn't have so now he is more messed up than he should be and a nightmare to deal with. 

i really can't stand it here...i feel smothered...choked...there is no privacy in my house...except for my 8 by 6 bedroom and even that's not safe...since my "special" cousin walked in without knocking the other day...luckly i was not changing...

i want so desprately to get the hell out of here...start my life...i can't afford to do anything so i'm literally stuck here...i sometimes wish i could fuck college and get a job that actually pays good...


that's better...

sorry for winning...

but it helped


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